Am I?

More and more often, I feel like I’m not good enough.

Why aren’t I taller? Skinnier? Prettier? Smarter? The pressures of life are so overwhelming.

Everyone wants me to be someone else and the struggle is so real that I’ve forgotten myself. Who is it that I want to be? Better yet, who AM I?

I think…

I’m nice. I treat all people with kindness and love.

I’m funny. I like to make people laugh.

I’m silly. I like to laugh at myself.

I’m intelligent. I do things with purpose.

I’m fragile. I’m easily hurt.

I’m a protector. I look out for others before myself.

I’m sad. I’m sad that you make me feel like I’m not good enough.

But…

I’ve decided that I AM good enough.

I’m good enough for me.

I WILL love myself.

Even if no one else will.

I am good enough.

And I choose me.

Take Me To The Stars

More and more often, I’m laying in bed wondering late into the night about my life.

What is my purpose? Why am I here? Am I a good person? Should I be selfish? Must I lose everything to be happy?

Life is so heavy that my shoulders cannot bear to carry it all. But I’m alone. I’m so alone. The weight of the world is slowly crushing me.

I smile. I’m okay. I smile. I’m not okay. I used to shine so brightly, but my light is slowly being extinguished. Soon, I will return to the stars where I belong. There, I will be good enough. There, I will shine brighter than the rest. You’ll see.

Lwm Tiam (The Next Life)

 

Koj dua qhov twg? (Where have you gone?)

Koj puas paub tias kuv hlub koj? (Do you know that I love you?)
Kuv yuav tuaj nrhiav koj (I’m coming to find you)
Kuv yuav mus rau lwm tiam (I’ll go to the next life)
Yuav mus nrhiav koj (To look for you)
Kuv yuav hla tej roob tej hav (I’ll cross the mountains and the hills)
Yuav mus coj koj rov qab (To bring you back)

Kuv tuaj txog rau lwm tiam (I’ve arrived at the next life)
Kuv twb hla teb rooj tej hav (I’ve crossed the mountains and the hills)
Kuv twb nrhiav txhua txhia qhov chaw los twb nrhiav tsis tau koj (I’ve searched everywhere, but I couldn’t find you)

Yog lwm tiam muaj tseeb tiag (If there is another life)
Thov lub ntuj cia wb rov sib ntsib. (May we meet again.)

 

His Eyes

He opened the door gently and walked with a sadness I was all too familiar with. This time was no different than many times before. I embraced him from afar with my words and love. He was heartbroken again. It was the same girl. It was the girl he loved. It was the girl I would never be.

I listened as he agonized. I watched as tears fell from his eyes. My heart breaking a little more each second. We both wept over the things we could not have. He wept for her and I, for him.

Canepas!!! (Quenepas) Finally, I’ve found you!

After searching for almost 1 whole month, I have some real, live, unfrozen, fresh off the street canepas (or quenepas as my Puerto Rican friend kindly informed me) to have and to hold for better or worse. I have yet to try them, but just the thought of having some to call my own makes me speechless.

Okay, I’m not that crazy. But, it is still very exciting!

Creds to my (current) fave roommate, Jenny, for pulling over onto the side of the road to hustle me some canepas!!!

P.S. I will update y’all once I try these magical Spanish limes!

My Neighbor’s Dog

After a ridiculously long hiatus, I return to you with a post about my neighbor’s dog. But before I do, let me give you some more information about the situation.

(Insert time travel sounds here.)

In August of 2015, my husband and I moved to a new house. I love the space in the new house and the extra room, but… the house is seriously, 5 feet away from the closest neighboring house. Strangely enough, there is a huge yard on the other side of the house.

Anyways, my new neighbors are a bit strange. Maybe paranoid is more the word for it. I mean, they have security cameras and alarms installed all around their rickety shack of a house. Just last night, my brother nearly had a heart attack because he happened to walk by their garage door and set off one of their alarms. But the worst thing about my neighbors is their dogs.

Their dogs never shut up. Don’t get me wrong here, I have nothing against dogs. But when a dog is constantly barking at me, I start to form some negative feelings towards it.

Here are some examples:

  1. Because our houses are so close together, the dog can hear when I go to my bathroom or smell me, whatever. (It’s worse in the summer time when my windows are open for most of the day.) So, anytime I get close to that side of my house, one or both of their dogs bark. And they bark. And they bark. Sometimes, they do it until I’m done with my business.
  2. They bark when I walk to my front door.
  3. They bark when I walk to my back door.
  4. They bark when I work at my desk, which happens to also be along the same side of the house.
  5. They bark when I shovel my sidewalk.

Sometimes, a person just wants to be able to walk around their property without being barked at. Please? Hopefully, they are just getting used to us and will get over it by the time summer rolls around again, but we shall see.

Hmong Directions

Have you ever received directions from an Hmong person? I mean an old school Hmong person. Notice how they are as unspecific as possible so that you can’t recreate the same thing later on?

 

 “Ntxiv ob diav ntsev thiab ib ncho hwjtxob. Li ntawv ces tabtom.”

“Add two spoonfuls of salt and one shake of pepper. Then it should be perfect.”

 

Uhh… What??? How big of a spoon? How hard of a shake?

I don’t know about you, but from my personal experience, Hmong OG’s are the worst at directions. Not only for recipes, but for other things as well. Things such as directions…

 

“Mus kom koj pom lub tsev xim dawb ces lem sab laug ces mus ncaj qhab. Koj mus mus ces nwb nyob ntawm sab xis xwb mas.”

“Go until you see the white house and then turn left and keep going. You keep going and it’ll be on the right.”

 

Which white house? On what street? How long should I continue going straight until I see it on the right?

It is so frustrating.

Purminerals Show Off 6-piece Collection

This is a set of eyeshadow pencils and lip/cheek pencils. I have yet to try the eyeshadow pencils (all beautiful neutral colors,) but the lip pencils are lovely! I don’t like to use creamy products on my cheeks, but they are very nice on the lips.

IMG_0087

The product comes in a box like this. I purchased mine for $28.

I will post up more photos later on of what the products look like on.

Influenster!

I am SUPER exited to announce that I am now a part of Influenster! (Thanks to Elisha aka chicachew from YouTube!) Woo hoo!

Tagged

The Truth: Blogs Beat Me Up

The Truth: Blogs Beat Me Up

That’s how I show my love. 🙂

Tagged , , , , , ,